A New Chapter for Averson
"Sink or swim."
That was the phrase that surfaced for our team at the beginning of 2024, although we weren’t sure what that would mean. Turns out, we were right; we would swim but it would feel like sinking sometimes. At the end of the summer, I made the necessary decision to shift Averson's model away from employing my team full time and revert to a project-based model. I know it sounds simple on paper, but this was a difficult decision for me, one where I had to confront my deepest fears about failure. I was clinging so tightly to what I thought should be that I was blind to what could be. Looking back, I can see that we didn’t sink, but we did learn a new way to swim.
On paper, the crux of the decision to move to project based work was that sustaining full-time payroll for a team with fluctuating workloads had been a difficult task for a while now, as it is for many small businesses (I see you!). We often felt one good quarter away from everything falling into place, and yet things needed to change to ensure our sustainability.
On a deeper layer, the responsibility of having a team and creating a culture of purpose at Averson meant (and means) the world to me. Imagining Averson without the people that make it, well, Averson, felt difficult for me to imagine, as did the idea of the impact that this change would have on their lives as employees.
I would be remiss if I didn’t touch on one other aspect that was behind this transition for me - my family. Within a year of bringing on a team, Jeff and I welcomed our first baby girl in 2021 and life was never the same in the best way. Less than two years later, we welcomed our second daughter (in tandem with Sena, our girls are less than 3 weeks apart! You can listen to us talk all about that wild time here.).
Part of my dream for Averson when I formed the company almost 8 years ago, was to build a business that supported my life and honored my time. And while it was still years off for me, much of that dream was also to have margin and freedom to be a present mom. Building a team was a part of this vision - inviting them into a work culture that honored the whole person, and making sure that the work didn’t stop with me - there were more people to carry the vision and the workload of the company.
Of course the reality of this vision looked much different than the idealized vision. The responsibility of managing humans, at home and at work, and maintaining capacity for my team to be busy and to be paid took its toll on me in moments, although it also gave me life and purpose. I was willing to work hard for this business to work, and yet I drew lines in the sand pretty early on about what that meant - it wasn’t a startup where everyone was willing to sacrifice at all costs to keep the business afloat. My life, and the people in it, means too much to me, as do my team’s.
My heart and hope for the company is what made adjusting our team and business model as we knew it so difficult and significant - I had been "white knuckling it," as Aundi Kolber, a favorite author of mine calls it. I was unwilling to see this as another evolution or progression of the journey and instead viewed it in more black and white terms.
Succeeding or failing.
Sinking or swimming.
Letting people down or upholding my commitment.
A woman that can balance it all or a woman that can’t.
I would call myself a professional at clinging to what is, in fear of what could be. Anyone else? Like most things in life, time is a remarkable salve– not a cure per se, but it gives a healthy perspective and often some much-needed healing. Now that I am on the other side of this change - a few things are much clearer to me.
Averson is still a team.
The Averson Office
Walking into an empty office that first day I worked without my team alongside me will forever be seared in my memory. It didn’t feel like a new beginning or a fresh start, or even a necessary transition, which it was; it felt like grief. And yet the story didn’t end there. I’ve still worked with each of my teammates and others on projects, bantered on Slack, and been able to offer the same integrated services to clients. There are still days where I miss what we had. What I possibly miss most is the collaboration around difficult business decisions and having teammates to laugh off the ridiculous situations that come with small business life. Even still, this transition has unlocked new flexibility and freedom for all of us, allowing me to assemble the right team for each project, and also feel free to set boundaries and limits for myself knowing that I’m not losing sleep each night over my team’s billable hours for the week.
My vision for the company is still there but it’s new too.
It's like that feeling when you finally let go of something you've been holding onto so tightly, and suddenly, new possibilities open up. Averson is still Averson, but with a fresh perspective. We're not rewriting the book, just starting an exciting new chapter.
Rediscovering the Joy of Design
In the midst of all this change, I've stumbled upon something unexpected: a renewed passion for the hands-on work. Stepping back from some of the management responsibilities has allowed me to reconnect with my design roots and be in closer contact with our clients, and it's been incredibly fulfilling. There's something so satisfying about diving deep into a project and seeing it come to life.
Of course, there are days when the quiet of an empty office hits me harder than others. I miss the constant energy and support of having a full-time team. But I'm learning to embrace the ebb and flow, to seek out connection when I need it, and to remember the beauty that comes from holding life (and business) with open hands. After all, what's life without a little adventure?
